ABOUT ME

I was spiralling ever deeper into depression. It was 2020. I had lost my wife to cancer and Covid-19 lockdowns had isolated me away from my support network. My mental health was rock bottom and my physical health wasn't much better. I was lost and without purpose.

I hated gardening. It was a chore to drag the lawnmower out and cut the patchy grass. Looking out the window at the jungle that had grown, it took every ounce of effort I had to haul myself outside and tackle the garden.

Then something unexpected happened. I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time. Being outdoors, listening to the birds singing, breathing in the fresh air, moving more than 10 steps felt...good. I felt like I made a difference. I had purpose again.

I didn't want to let the feeling go. I threw myself into project after project. The feeling of accomplishment when each task was complete distracted me from the pain I was feeling. Over time, I realized I wasn't just burying my feelings, I was actively processing them and making sense of my grief.

I quit my job and enrolled in a horticultural college, loved every moment there and once I graduated I was fortunate enough to work for a high-end design and build landscaping company. I worked on gold medal winning show gardens including Chelsea and Hampton Court. Gardens belonging to royalty and celebrities became regular destinations. Being involved in the Super Bloom at the Tower of London was an amazing experience that taught me so much about the resilience of plants.

I briefly left the world I enjoyed so much to return to a former career. It didn't last. My most joyful days were ones spent talking to people about their gardens. I couldn't ignore the calling anymore. I quit my job and started my own Wellness Landscape Design and Consultancy business in the summer of 2024.

The garden provided me with a unique form of mindfulness. While tending to plants and soil, I found myself distracted enough to prevent overwhelming floods of thoughts and emotions, yet not completely disconnected from them. This balance allowed me to process my grief in manageable portions - I could face my feelings without being consumed by them. While gardening wasn't the only element in my healing journey, it played a crucial role in my recovery and continues to be an important part of my ongoing healing process. The garden became a sanctuary where healing could happen naturally, one moment at a time.

My advice is to put in the work and face the difficult emotions and thoughts. It won't be easy, but nothing worth doing ever is. It's hard to work on yourself, but it's even harder to remain stuck in a place where you must shut down your emotions.

When you gradually work on yourself, you begin to process these feelings, and slowly you become able to bear their weight. It's like exercise - if you don't train the muscle to handle the load, how can you ever hope to lift it? And like weight training, healing happens in small increments.

The beauty is that once you can carry this emotional weight, you start to see all the wonderful things this world still has to offer. The world hasn't stopped - and neither should you. Find the simple things that make you feel even slightly better.

My own journey relied heavily on nature. My garden became my sanctuary, and I still use it to help me be the best version of myself. If this sounds like something that could work for you, feel free to book a free clarity call. No pressure - I simply hope I can help.